No Glass Raves

I would’ve thought that balustrades, as a science, have reached a ceiling. Of course, as with anything, there are good and bad ones. You can have a set of glass balustrades that complement a home, and some that seem to be slapped in all mish-mash-like, and some in between, but I don’t think anyone has thought about wildly innovating the concept.

Then again, I say that a lot when I’m watching Lizard’s Lair. I sit down every Monday and Wednesday after dinner with my peppermint tea and a biscotti, and I judge people with varying degrees of harshness. 

Honestly, anyone who thinks they can take the concept of stair balustrades and upgrade them into the 21th century deserves to be judged whether or not they actually succeed. It’s a show about judging. And judge the Lizards did, when they were presented with a set of stair balustrades with electrical properties that flashed varying colours and shapes when you brush your hands against them. Gaudy, if you ask me, but that wasn’t the end of it. The individual panes were laced with LED lights, but also a special chemical compound that turns them tinted when sprayed with water. 

As per usual, the Lizards and I were in perfect alignment. Our first question: why? Glass balustrades have no need of tinting, unless you’re hiding from a crazed serial killer and you manage to drop behind the pane of glass before he spots you. And you’re carrying a spray bottle at the time, and you have enough time to spray all the panes you’re hiding behind, which would probably just come across as suspicious.

Also, if you think glazier companies near Melbourne are going to start stocking such delicate and complicated panes when they’re totally unnecessary. So yes, no funding for Kelvin and his ‘Rave Balustrades’. 

Gosh, judging people on television is fun! I can see why the Lizards do it, despite being filthy rich already.