The Spackler

So I was watching an episode of The Spackler last night, and I realised just how much I haven’t been keeping up with the whole thing. It’s been… what, three seasons since I sat down to watch it? And even then, I was only watching it at someone’s house, and only because they were ill. 

You know the drill. Handsome single guy who’s ‘got it all’. Sixteen model women. All of them together in a mansion.

And over the course of ten weeks, they have to try to sell him their own unique blend of hole-filling putty (or ‘spackle’). The winner is the girl at the end who convinces him to invest in her spackle brand. I guess it’s compelling enough television, especially when Ramona reveals that her father is a ute accessories magnate, looking to take control of the best ute toolbox manufacturers Melbourne has to offer. Combined with her unique spackle blend, they could sell toolboxes and hole-filling putty as a package deal. 

Obviously they had loads of candid shots of the other women standing around looking catty and making snide comments while Ramona laid out her business plan to Joe in the romantic night garden gazebo. At one point I actually thought they were going to sweep all the paperwork off the table and kiss, but then it turns out that Ramona was just reaching for some schematics for a special ute toolbox of her own design that answers to its own name.

Imagine them kissing! That would just be silly. These women are in that mansion for one reason only: to sell truckloads of spackle. I think aluminium toolboxes might just carry Ramona through to the final round, although Jessabelle has some secret plans for aluminium ute canopies, so that could be quite the upset.

You know what it’s like in the early season, though. The guy walks in with a stack of trowels and hands them to the girls who get to go to the next round. They make you think a popular girl is going out until the last second… and then he gives her the final trowel and some random goes home. Whatever.