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The Matrimony Event

Bah, these people and their events. They think that people should marry for love, and that the day of one’s birth is an excuse for merriment? Such foolishness! Back in my home realm, we had many, much better excuses for revelry, like the seven-day feast celebrating the eradication of the filthy, disgusting gnome people in …

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The Kitchen Life

Plan B (that’s Plan Boiling Hotness, in case you were wondering) turned out to be a total failure. In fact, it backfired in spectacular fashion. I knew from the initial meeting with the estate agent that this rental property had no gas charges; it all just gets paid for in bulk by the owners of …

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The Property Experts

You know, it’s quite strange. You’d would think that Canberra didn’t have any services of its own. They do, of course, because Canberra is a functioning city with infrastructure and all of that stuff, but you just wouldn’t think they did. Maybe that’s just because so many of our team are based in Melbourne – …

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But the Children!

As a mother and an avid member of the Neighbourhood Augmentation Group (NAG), I don’t think all this news of a vigilante leaping across the rooftops is good for my children. Tommy came home today and said they’d been ‘playing vigilante’ in the playground, and he’d been using his cybernetic limbs to ‘totally destroy’ the …

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Boaty-licious

Is there anything better than freshly caught seafood? Well… maybe there’s one thing. You have to promise not to make fun of me for saying this, though. I couldn’t handle being the guy who went viral over something like this. I’ll just come out and say it: I like the taste of boats. The taste …

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Elementastic

What even is oxygen? I mean, I’m aware that it’s a chemical element, and that our bodies take it in via breathing and somehow transform into the building blocks of life. But still, I ask: what in the blazes is it? How does it come to have these seemingly magical properties that can sustain an …

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Our Road Rules

Okay, I’m calling a time-out.  Like, actually. I get that our traffic maintenance and road systems are bad in Albajeria, and we take little things like ‘road rules’ less seriously. But personally, I think we have more fun. I got my license in Australia about a year ago – yes, despite our countries’ diplomatic ties, …

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Some Hairy Satire

Look, I’m all about female superheroes and women being super strong and powerful, and I understand satire.  But when the Marble Symptomatic Omniverse makes a film about a female hero who bears the name of the whole company, I don’t think you should make that film a parody about a housewife who saves the world …

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