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My Metal Project

I want to create a sculpture of a dragon. It’s got to be big and bold, ferocious and terrifying. It has to be made of steel. I want people to look at it as they drive along the freeway by my house. I want to hold their attention. In time, people will mention “Melbourne’s Metal …

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Iris Aficionado

My friend Tamara is what you might call an obsessive. That’s putting it gently, if you know what I mean. Once she identifies an area of interest, she won’t rest until she’s a card-carrying expert on the subject, even if of the armchair variety.  Whether it’s cider brewing, the cultural history of playing cards or …

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Silly Shoe Season

I never understood the concept of ‘party shoes’ until I got a pair of party shoes. In short, they’re the most ridiculous shoes I own by a long shot, and they only come out when they’re likely to be truly appreciated and embraced for how silly they are. That, my friends, is the technical definition …

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Specific Title Tranfers

Thanks to Odd-Match, Melbourne now has its own chapter of the Title Transfer of Former Animal Sanctuaries Now Being Repurposed as Residential Buildings Fanatic Club (TTFASNBRRBFC). They’ve had one in Milwaukee for years, and one started in UlaanBaatar last year, but finally there’s one in Melbourne! Now this small group of us can get together, …

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Advent-ageous

My workplace – a high-end commercial law firm which I will not be naming – is doing this ‘advent calendar’ thing. Each day of December until Christmas, someone gets drawn out of a hat to win the contents of this big box, which contains some piece of office furniture that is no longer wanted by …

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Career Crisis

I’m starting to freak out. I graduate from high school in a week and I have no idea what I’m doing with my life. I put in a few uni preferences for teaching and psychology, both of which I feel are just cop-outs. Everyone does those when they don’t know what to do. I don’t …

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Boat Watching

When I was a child, I used to head down to the marina and watch the boats come and go on the weekends. I hear that a lot of children are fascinated by planes or trains, but not me. I thought that boats were the most interesting things in the world. For a long time, …

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When You Assume…

Green is not a creative colour.  Can confirm; I’ve spent my entire life at an academy for the arts and philosophical sciences, since both of my parents are professors here, and one thing I know for certain is that green- the colour- is not creative. It has its uses, but it’s not nearly as creative …

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Ranching Out

My wife wants to buy a ranch, and I’m… where to begin? For starters, we’ve only just managed to get a house in the suburbs up and running, and overseeing a ranch seems like a real jump from there. Secondly, for a property to qualify as a ranch, don’t you need to be raising cattle …

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50 Shades of Orange

What is orange? Does peach qualify to go under that umbrella? What about terracotta, butterscotch, or persimmon, for that matter? More to the point, what is the prevailing opinion on this? Regardless of the technical definition, it’s imperative that I please this client, and she made it extremely clear that the staircase must be orange. …

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